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Trollpasta Compilation Vol. 6
Wanda The Fish And His Quest For The Meaning of Life CHAPTER 1: THE MYSTERIOUS ORB I am a fish, but it's not so bad. My name is Wanda, by the way. I'd say I have a pretty normal life for a fish. I have friends, family, anything a fish could ever want. I usually spend my days just relaxing and swimming around, eating fish eggs or worms or whatever comes around. Sometimes some bread will appear at the surface of the water, but it's usually eaten before I can have any. I live in a large lake, and I am about as large as any fish that comes around. It's rather nice and relaxing, really. My story starts with an urban myth. As children, we were told stories about fish who are lured away by worms or insects that are just floating in the middle of the water, attached to a small hook that the hungry fish usually don't notice until it's too late. The story usually ends with the fish going missing, or it's bones being found at the bottom of the lake somewhere. Well, when minding my own business one day, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Something very bright and shiny and yellow. When I quickly turned to look at it, nothing was there. Curious, I swam about looking for this mysterious object. Before long I was lost. I had ended up in an area of the lake that I had never been to before. After looking around for a bit, I finally saw it! In the distance there was a yellow shiny orb floating, just waiting for me to investigate! Â Once I had swam over to the orb my eyes widened with awe. There was a small scrabble written right on the top. It read: :"Go to the creek far beyond where fish dwell, :Once there, you must search for a pearl white shell, :And there will you find the very next clue, :A treacherous path, so good luck to you." CHAPTER 2 NOT FINISHED. COME BACK LATER. The bad guy so like i am a relly cool giy that dancs and stuff and you r not go ing to beeleeve this but i saw a guy and he looked maaaaaaaaaad to i gave him a hugf then a eated me and im now in his tummy posting this (yes i brought my cp to hiz tummy) i tink im go ing to die now, OH NOES HE EETED A NOTHER GUY AHHHHHHHHHHH THE GUY FELL ON MY LAPTOp AND BROKE It AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH waet haouw am i nmaking dis nouiw oh well, OH NO IM BEE ING POOPEDEDEDEDED OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT ew im an a toylet and i beeing fluched now a im in a weard dementin and theres demenon things everywere i runing AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and then i woke up in my house oh pewh it was a dreem ah poop i was dreeming, so i got a wafle but insteed of me eeting the wafle aai got eeted by da waffle ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and now im ded, i am posting this with a broken laptop covered with poop in heaven the end. Note: As having a degree in Idiotoligy, Me, Dr. Guest, am going to translate this into english. Translation: So, like I am a really cool guy that dances and stuff and you are not going to believe this but I saw a guy and he looked mad too, and I gave him a hug for no reason and then he ate me and I'm now in his guts posting this (Yes I brought my Computer to his Stomach) I think I'm going to die now, and OH NO he ate another guy! THE GUY FELL ON MY COMPUTER AND BROKE IT! What how am I making this now? Oh well. OH NO I'M BEING POOPED OUT! Ew, I'm in a toilet and I'm being flushed. Now I'm in a weird demention and theres demon things everywhere! I'm running! And then I woke up in my house. Oh phew, it was a dream. So I get myself some breakfast, but instead of my waffle being eaten, I got eaten by the waffle even though that's not logicaly possible in any way. And look, I did from being inlogically eaten by the waffle who doesn't even have a mouth or digestive system. I am now posting this with a broken laptop in heaven, although I should be in Hell for making such a horrible creepy pasta. The Ultimate Flame: Version 2.0 You know what? Fuck. You. You rotten, lousy, scum sucking dick munching prick of society. You assbeating, horse raping, snot nosed, bratty, one eyed, overstuffed, wedlock inbred, vegetarian, cock penetrating, stupid ass, stiff legged, spotty lipped, over pornographic mind tumor cock you are! I have had it with your motherfucking bullshit on this motherfucking planet. Well let me tell you something, you rotten no good twoforbrains! The truth is, you were always a fucking asshole who loved to make other people's lives miserable. You've wanted to fuck every woman you see behind your girlfriend's fucking back. There is no place for traitors in this world, you shitlicking cock monkey. Also, this aftertaste in my mouth reminds me of pumpkin pie, which I hate, so I'll associate you with it, you fucking no good dickshit. You always talk about all the fucking hot steamy sex you had. You expect everyone and anyone to believe that, you fucking dicklicker? Well let me tell you something, snotbrain. You ass wiping dick raping sexist overstuffed pasta machine fucking dickscum! You penis snotting assbrain! Let me tell you this, assfuck. Even Tiberius, the most gullible kid in the entire fucking Bronx as far as I'm concerned, knows for a fact you're lying. You are a fifteen year old, lying, no good, rotten, cheating shitface who loves to cum to other people's misery and look down on the younger kids, like me. And if you really DO have a girlfriend (cough cough), I hope she dumps you as soon as she can, because if I were a woman I wouldn't want to be associated in any way with a cheap lying no good rotten vowel-fleshing dirt eating snake licking inbred overstuffed meatshanking bone busting feta-reeking cuntbag like you. You talk about being "respectful" and that you want to shine this god given light He's gifted you with, all the while you talk constantly and I mean CONSTANTLY about how horny you are for your imaginary girlfriend, you assbone. Wanting to fuck and fuck and fuck and fuck constantly may sound tempting, but your buttbusting no good lousy horny shmuck busting gauntlet of lies makes it sound really the opposite of respect, you assmunching dirt licking penis munching cock fucking asswiping nymphomaniac buttbuddy-with-Hitler ass shit fuckfaced penis reaping cow humping dog shitting dirt spitting snake masturbating ugly unorthodox politically incorrect maniacal egotistical assfucking burp wiping lollipop eating snake shitting inbreeding overconfident shitsniffing ASSHOLE! In closure; fuck you. I've had it with your bull-fucking-shit. Go cry me a fucking river for all that I care, you lying sack of neutralized fresh cow shit straight from the anus of Clarabelle fucking cow. Go hump your great great great great grandma's corpse, you assbeating dick riding cocaine sniffing cockmonkey assaholic cum drunk semen shitting ball pissing shit pooping ass fucking rapist goddamn disrespectful sexist son of a CUNT. Let's Play! Hello, everyone, I am posting this to tell you about a game experience that I could not comprehend. Do you remember the game The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time? The game that you control Link in the land of Hyrule? If you do, there is something that I didn't know could happen. I was playing a ROM version of Ocarina of Time because I didn't know where my game system was. I looked around the internet for hacks I could put on a copy of the game. Soon, I found a hacking website. I looked around it. Nothing but hacks I already put in. I gave up until I scrolled up and saw a download link. It said, "Let's_Play.exe". Reluctant, because of reading the creepypastas about this, I chose it to see what would happen. It downloaded and soon opened up the copy of my Ocarina of Time game. The opening was normal. I soon opened up the selection screen. There were two file names; "Let's Play", and "Link.exe". I chose Link.exe. It opened up to the Fire Temple. Link looked like he did, so I explored through the temple. Soon, Link started to get fire on his body. He started to immolate, going down to one heart. The screen turned black and went back to the title screen. The file was replaced by the name "JEFFREY". I picked that file name. Soon, it said, "Hahahahaha, the man who made this liked Jeff the Killer, so this will be fun." It soon turned into Kokiri Forest. Link looked as if he was 13. He had a knife, and when I turned him around, he looked exactly like Jeff the Killer. I was aware of what happened, and I corelated this to the Fire Temple and this Jeff the Killer Fan. I went around Kokiri Forest and found Saria's House. I went inside. Saria was inside of the house. She looked scared. Soon, a cutscene showed Link cutting off Saria's dress and holding the knife up to her. The scene soon discipated. Link came out of the house. I decided to go back in. I saw Saria on the floor, trembling, still naked. She said, "G-get away from me, JEFF! Isn't raping me enough?" Soon, Link...or JEFF, went out. The screen faded to black. The selection screen popped up again. I chose Let's Play. I continued at Zora's Domain. I saw that Link still looked like Jeff the Killer. I talked to a Zora, and he said, "J-just take her, and leave us alone!" I went up to where Ruto would be, and she stared at me. I came up and JEFF raped Ruto, too. The screen faded to black. JEFF was now at Lon Lon Ranch. Malon stared at him, too. Suddenly, she started to run, but JEFF caught her. He told her this, "You are very beautiful, Malon. I could kill you, or you can voluntarily have sex!" A "Yes" or "No" popped up. Apparently, I was Malon, and I chose Yes. The screen faded to black. The selection screen popped up again. It now showed "3 Years Later" and "JEFF SHOULD SHOOT HIMSELF". I chose the first. It literally said, "3 Years Later". JEFF was 16, looking like adult Link. He had the same look. I went to Lon Lon Ranch, and Malon looked very scared. I saw another child, and it looked like her daughter. Same was when I visited Kokiri Forest and Zora's Domain. JEFF looked sad. He soon said, "Just pick the last one." The screen faded to black. The selection screen had one thing, "JEFF SHOULD SHOOT HIMSELF". I chose it. It was no control, just a cutscene. It showed JEFF with a gun, and then other scenes flashed of Ruto's son, Saria's daughter, and Malon's daughter playing. JEFF started to cry, exclaiming, "I could have been normal. I could have been like everyone else. What should I do? Please, player. Please, just tell me. Do you think I deserve to shoot myself?" A yes or no popped up. I chose No. He said, "Just tell me the truth. Should I shoot myself?" I chose No, again. He cocked the gun and asked me again, "Tell me the truth, player. TELL ME!" I started to cry. I could imagine a nice man having a loving family. He would say "Hi" to his daughter. I imagined him to hug his daughter, and at night, kiss her good night. I imagined JEFF to have a loving family at Lon Lon Ranch. I realized I had to stop him, and I told him, "JEFF, don't shoot yourself. You ''can ''be normal. Please! Don't shoot yourself. You can stop it right now. I don't want to see you die, I want to see you with a family." JEFF smiled and said, "Thank you, player. You stopped me. Thanks for bringing me to realization." His face soon turned back to Link's and I cried tears of joy. The last thing he said was, "I will live with Malon and Lily. Thank you, player, and look at the screen." The screen went back to the selection screen. It now said, "JEFF AND FAMILY". I pressed it and it showed JEFF with Malon and Lily. Lily looked 9 years old, and JEFF and Malon were looking outside the window, but then they turned their heads and looked at me. JEFF said, "Thanks for telling me to live with them." Malon then said, "You are the one who fixed him." Soon, Lily came in, JEFF and Malon hugged her and they all looked at me and happily smiled. I soon printed out a picture of them... I hope that you can read all of this, because I just have looked at your accounts and IP addresses by then. I see you, name here right now... Sincerely, Seth